Pah, dudes give better hand jobs anyway 😎
This is objectively transphobe
And y’know what? He’s absolutely great at them, and I deeply appreciate him.
Wait, we must have the same dude!
He’s had a LOT of practice
…and there goes my boner
Fine. I fucked up and married an asexual woman because she was the first person to ever show me genuine affection and I royally fucked up.
Sucks to be me! No kids, at least.
I also don’t have sex with this guy’s wife
I’m asexual and I deserve love too! I married another asexual lady and it’s great. Neither of us have to do things we don’t want to.
Not even taxes?
Don’t kink shame
If it helps I didn’t marry an asexual woman and I still get none.
Sucks to be me, plus a kid!
Are you selling?
Easy there, Epstein
Wait, how do you know she’s not asexual?
Well… You are not alone in this.
What is wrong with genuine affection? The least of us are that lucky. Sex you can have with everyone and get it everywhere. You can even buy it, if you want. But love and affection is a rare commodity you can’t enforce or buy or…
Depends if she let’s him get it elsewhere? You are stuck in a dilemma of being involuntary celibate for life, in return for love.
So oof.
Would be pretty mean if she didn’t. But yes…tough choice. The younger he is, the harder.
The younger he is, the harder.
oops lol
Sex you can have with everyone and get it everywhere.
False
Where can you not?
The vast majority of people do not want to have sex with the vast majority of other people and most places prohibit fucking in them.
OK, u just took it verbatim. You are able to fuck anyone anywhere. They might not mirror that desire to do so and the place might not be made for it. But you COULD.
I think you and I live very, very different lives that you would think that way.
Why? The pure technical ability to do so is there. Doesn’t mean you should or would. Besides that wasn’t even remotely my initial point.
or buy
Think about it tho
Why? What’s wrong with that? A normal job and a normal transaction. Married though, I dont do this 😁
Your username is amazing btw
Do asexual people not even want to try it, out of curiosity?
It depends on the person. Some asexual people can be quite sexually active because they don’t mind or enjoy helping with their partner’s sexual needs even though they’re not directly interested.
I don’t want to try it. Don’t even want to hear about it. Don’t even have functioning genitals on account of being intersex. I thought I was horny once, but that was just when Rush Limbaugh died.
Some people tell me, “well, you haven’t had the right dick or pussy yet!” And I always reply, “and you haven’t had the right arsenic yet, keep trying different kinds.”
Turns out that the wizard powers for being a forty year old virgin only apply if one ever had the option or desire to lose the virginity in the first place.
“I thought I was horny once, but that was just when Rush Limbaugh died.”
Immortal words, my friend. I commend their beauty.
ooh, ooh! Ace here. I went through a period where sex was my special interest. I went deep down the research rabbit hole, learned all about sex toys and methods and safer sex techniques. Had willing partners.
At the end of the day, sex is boring and no one is hot/of an attracting gender. I guess it’s like if you were a super straight man and everyone else was men? I don’t know.
Now I’m into knitting and kumihimo.
How many times can you do that?
Yeah sure, few times to find out what the fuzz is about and then move on. Do you have any idea how many times people have sex in a relationship, a lot more than just a few times.
Just for clarification, I’m not ace or at least haven’t accepted it and just have difficulties with libido and remembering that I’m supposed to have sex.
Ace people can actually still have a strong libido! It’s more about sexual attraction.
Of course, others are straight up repulsed by even the thought of sex. It’s a wide spectrum.
Yeah, they’re the lucky ones of the cursed spectrum. At least that can be taken advantage of even if there’s no direct target for it.
Any upsides?
Dont worry, as parents you wouldn’t (want) to see action either. You get up, handle your offspring, go to work, gethome to just handle the offspring again. Depending if they had mid-day sleep you may be allowed to do chores starting 19-23pm. Actually working is more relaxing than being 100% of the time on adrenaline because your toddler tries to hurt themselves all the time. You just lack energy for romance. Trying for a second is a chore.
False
-tto?
Yeah, kind of weird to have an LGBTQ+ pride post forget the T.
Yeah I was about to say trans folks exist lmao
Okay but then you still have same sex person jacking you off, that’s hella gay
Got 'em.
Nah my hand just identifies as a women during it 🫡
What if I’m nonbinary, tho?
There’s wood in them their hands!
What if your hand isn’t?
I feel like hands are either left or right and that this binary attribute is assigned by their position on the body and not by their choice.
But then again the same was said about gender …
Inside you are two wolves.
Both of them are gay.
Uhh no, I’m just jerking a tgirl off and getting jerked by a tgirl.
Not my gf, but eh, still good.
Thank you off-brand skeletor!
Wrong. My hand doubles as Jennifer Lopez. She likes tacos and burritos.
Ben Affleck has entered the chat.
And I must admit I love that dude.
Dude, you’re supposed to hate yourself, you’re the same gender as yourself, so loving that person is gay!
Awfully cisnormative for a Pride post
I’ve been handling dick for 30+ years. Id give a great handjob.
Wait I think you have to renew your licence
Promise?
Maybe. But it’s going to be a different angle, so it might mess up your muscle memory.
Maybe he should sit behind.
I like where your head’s at. Much easier to access.
Much easier to access.
Oh yes. That too.
Well, damnit — I couldn’t get any other guy to do it for me!
I used to work for a very shitty hotel. Like, heroin and hookers kind of hotel.
One summer we somehow became the official hotel of something called CLAW. I have no idea what it stands for, but the basic idea is that it’s a gay guys in leather convention.
Anyways, I’m a straight male. I have no issues with these guys, but I wouldn’t join in. As I’m working the front counter, this guy comes up and tries to flirt with me. I politely decline. Then he goes off to our dining room area.
Another guy walks up to check in. As I’m doing my job, the first guy comes back, walks up to the guy checking in, and says “Heeeey, I’m Tom. Are you single?” to which the second guy says “No, but I’m free to play”. Tom then gives him a room key, and says “Well I’m room 329. Feel free to bring as many as your friends as you like”.
To this day I am dumbfounded by that interaction. To any gay dudes reading this, I want you to know flirting with women and sealing the deal is NOWHERE NEAR that easy! I was impressed, and a bit jealous.
Tom walked up to this guy, and with 1 sentence and 1 question organized an orgy in which he was not at all responsible for setting up. He’s just offering a room. You bring the dudes.
This means Tom doesn’t have to vet people. He doesn’t need to make sure everyone is comfortable with each other. He just told the second guy to bring all his friends, and he reaps all the rewards of orgy host!
To put that in perspective, I’m 42, and never even had a threesome with 2 women. Because its such a hassle getting all the details just right. Meanwhile Tom’s over here like “ALL of your friends please!”
He went from “Hi my name is Tom” to “Lets pack my room with dudes” with only one sentence, and one question. Even the Germans aren’t THAT efficient!
So for you to say that you can’t get any other guys to give you a handjob…brother, you’re just not trying! Have you tried opening with “Hello”? Apperently that leads to orgies.
It’s because you can basically murder and eat more-less any woman, and she can’t do anything about it, so she is rolling the dice.
Men meanwhile, a lot harder.
Also, less fucks given about it.
Ladies, I promise I’m not trying to eat you.
…wait. No, I mean, I’ll go down on you, sure. But I will not consume your flesh.
Also, I’d like to handcuff your ankles and wrists onto a steel frame, in a vulnerable position. Then tickle the crap out of you for hours!
Hey! Where ya going, ladies? Come back!
See? So hard to talk to women!
That’s why I only eat the flesh of men _
See ladies! I’m perfectly safe!
This is why I don’t say anything. I just stare and smile and get closer veeeeery slowly. They’re kind of like deer.
God damn DLSS 5 upscales removing artistic intent! There’s supposed to be no meat on Skeletor’s bones!
