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ickplant@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 8 days ago

I want it to slap me across the face

lemmy.world

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I want it to slap me across the face

lemmy.world

ickplant@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 8 days ago
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  • JaggedRobotPubes@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    I’ll take that cocoa and cherry one then, if you’re not having it.

    • Fedizen@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      Caffeine content probably the same. I’ll take the one that doesn’t taste like chalky dirt.

    • cosmos8188@leminal.space
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      7 days ago

      Exactly, if op ain’t having it, we’ll kindly take it 😄

  • exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    7 days ago

    Caffeine is very slightly negatively correlated with darkness of the roast. Dark roasts tend to have less caffeine than light roasts.

    Also, drip/pourover/percolator/press coffee tends to have more caffeine per serving than espresso-based drinks. The longer steep time extracts more of the caffeine, and serving sizes tend to just be so much larger to overcome the higher caffeine per unit volume of espresso.

    So in reality, the lighter pourover coffee where you have the roaster or barista talking about tasting notes tends to be higher caffeine than the dark, densely brewed bitter stuff.

    • AnimalsDream@slrpnk.net
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      7 days ago

      Basically this, although from what I remember the caffeine difference between light and dark roast is only about 2%.

      It is also worth noting that for most people (due to the standard western diet), their daily coffee is one of the few appreciable sources of polyphenols they’re likely to get, and lighter roasts are a better source of that as well.

      Aaaand if that weren’t enough, dairy cancels out the health benefits of coffee by reducing bioavailability.

    • chiliedogg@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      My understanding is that dark roast is just as strong or even stronger by weight, but the longer roast makes it lighter for the same volume. Since people tend to use scoops to measure out their coffee the lighter blends end up stronger.

      But if you measure by weight instead, that’s no longer the case.

  • abc@suppo.fi
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    6 days ago

    What you get: coffee that walks into your colon, flips a table over, and says, “Get up. We have responsibilities.”

    • [object Object]@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      “I think you should go. That was a large burrito.”

  • ikidd@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    6 days ago

    I need my coffee to bend me over the counter and ram it in dry.

    • ickplant@lemmy.worldOP
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      6 days ago

  • Captain_Patchy@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    Is it so bad to have both?

    I mean plenty of caffeine AND a good flavor without .25 lbs of sugar and 50% half and half is pretty nice…

  • texture@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    thats called meth

  • _lilith@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    you don’t get hints of cherry and grass until you have relinquished the mere desire for caffeine and ascended into true understanding of the bean

  • A_Chilean_Cyborg@feddit.cl
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    6 days ago

    Then dry an energy drink or caffeine pills.

    Yeah, I drink coffee in part for the caffeine, but what’s the point of brewing fresh coffee if not to enjoy a tastier way to ingest caffeine?

  • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    7 days ago

    Just take caffeine pills jfc

    • Gregers@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      Or adderall, sounds like they have a medical condition

  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Coffee? I requested a car battery clipped to my nipples

  • BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    A BDSM cafe does sound fun.

    • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
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      7 days ago

      there used to be one in London - “Coffee Cake and Kink”

  • Agent641@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Pervatin?

  • apftwb@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Robusta bean cold brew coffee.

    It tastes like slighly sweet tea. It is served cold. However, it will give you AFib and allow you to feel the back of your eyes.

    • AnimalsDream@slrpnk.net
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      7 days ago

      Robusta is making a comeback? I remember with the rise of Starbucks, there was a huge anti-robusta push for a while.

      • apftwb@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        Robusta beans are cheaper, stronger, and more bitter. Robusta is ok for literally everything except a shot of expresso (too bitter). Most coffee is usually a blend of Robusta and Arabica beans.

        • AnimalsDream@slrpnk.net
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          7 days ago

          Sounds like Arabica propaganda to me.

  • shweddy@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Quad shot latte over ice

  • gigastasio@sh.itjust.works
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    8 days ago

    I want a coffee with a short skirt and a loooooooooooooooong jacket.

    • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
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      6 days ago

      I do actually want a coffee that uses a machete to cut through red tape.

    • WagnasT@piefed.world
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      8 days ago

      Whoa…imma go listen to some Cake

      • Zombiepirate@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        I got to see them at Austin City Limits one year. It turned me into a lifelong Cake fan.

      • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
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        7 days ago

        Imma go eat sum

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