What in interesting use of free will

Among everybody here, you have the most potential to learn something.

I fucked your cousin

I don’t have one in English, but I have some in German for those who understand.

My Granddad had a female coworker that was higher in rank than him. He would always greet her with “Meine Allerwerteste”. It’s a word play because “Meine Werteste” is equivalent to a very formal version of “my dear”. “Aller” is a superlative form, so basically “My very dearest”. But “Mein Allerwertester” (so the male form of what he used) means “my ass”.

The other one is to use terminology like “Er versucht immer sein Bestes zu geben” (“He always tries to give his best”). In Austria, you are legally allowed to ask for a work testimony from your employer when you are looking for a new job. There is some legislation that prohibits negative speech in these work testimonies so that your employer cannot make you look bad in front of your potential new employer (which makes the whole concept pretty useless, but it is what it is). So to get around that, employers adopted a kind of “secret” code where e.g. “tries to” means “fails to”. So you can use the same kind of terminology to deliver something that sounds like a compliment, but for everyone in the know (which is most people by now) it’s clear that you deeply offended the person you are talking about.

You can’t be underestimated

What you lack in evidence or convincing argument, you make up with conviction.

Many of these rely on big words, or are actually pretty obviously insults even if you don’t understand.

The real gems are the ones that read like simple english compliments, unless you spend actual effort looking for the insult.

Wisdom has been chasing you, but you are faster!!

You’re so vain, I bet you think this meme is about you.

You cured my impostor syndrome, thank you.

I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

Colbert at Bush’s correspondence dinner:

The greatest thing about about this man is that he’s steady, you know where he stands. He believes the same thing on Wednesday that he did on Monday… no matter what happened on Tuesday.

I can’t imagine a better day than one spent after your company.

Every moment I spend with you is better than the next.