Hey don’t blame all of us. It’s just that one guy with dementia who paints his skin orange.

I’m pretty sure we have those in usa. It has many names, like commuter train.

That is the most appropriate thing to say to a deceased person.

I don’t understand. “Prevents” is correct. But she said “forbids.”

Is that an afro on his head or a mushroom cloud?

She really did display some phenomenal acting skills in that video.

My ex husband couldn’t hold conversations. He could only quote fragments of lines from movies & Simpsons & Futurama.

Was giraffe in previous life

No matter how tempted you may be, never click links in emails. You can go to your own settings without using that link in the email.

Why aren’t gym & rock climbing & pole dancing on that flow chart?

The only place I can’t reach on my body is my right shoulder blade. God should’ve put my genitals there.

We used to just lay those strips on the ground and throw rocks at 'em. Good times.

Yeah before it was explained it to me, I always thought it was meaningless banter.

That one took me decades to understand, after someone explained it.

Since when is origami water-tight & leak-proof?

Those origami boxes are intended to hold rice.

The irony is that the shower cap & goggles cause cancer in the state of California, so we just can’t win over here.

That’s what the world needs right now, Furries running around high on dangerous amounts of caffeine.

Ah yes there were so many sliced-up bare feet in the beach sand before 1982.

You know what’s up.

🎉 Mulligrubs for President! 🎉

I’ve heard that heroin is cripplingly addictive & makes people’s faces gaunt & haggardly & destroys lives.