One can find someone who is their friend, is someone they love, and with whom they have a great sexual relationship but still get zoned into “it’s complicated”. If reality wasn’t so messy, and we didn’t have such fucked up childhoods, my ride or die and I would be a perfect couple. Instead we’re sometimes fuck buddies, sometimes lovers, sometimes friends, sometimes play relationship. It’s complicated.
I hit all 3 but then she said that she’s still broken because of her past trauma and needs to work on herself first. Which to be fair is great that she realizes it, but the issue is now we barely talk anymore because it’s honestly hard for both of us. So now I feel like all 3 have been lost instead of having just the 1, friendship.
Good luck man… I’ve been through a couple of these variants but with my (current) SO of quite some time I feel like I’ve found the center. That doesn’t mean it’s never complicated, but it means we’ve learned to deal with and work through a lot of complicated stuff. I honestly believe the most important ingredient in getting to that center is the will to see the best in each other and work through whatever life throws your way.
Thanks. If anything, this friendship/relationship has taught me why people with similar trauma and personalities can be great for emotional intimacy (we get it) but also absolutely toxic when our trauma forged defenses and coping mechanisms rise up. She’s given me a lot of insight into “oh, so that’s what it’s like to deal with me when I act like that”. Love her to death but we’re not the match.
One can find someone who is their friend, is someone they love, and with whom they have a great sexual relationship but still get zoned into “it’s complicated”. If reality wasn’t so messy, and we didn’t have such fucked up childhoods, my ride or die and I would be a perfect couple. Instead we’re sometimes fuck buddies, sometimes lovers, sometimes friends, sometimes play relationship. It’s complicated.
I hit all 3 but then she said that she’s still broken because of her past trauma and needs to work on herself first. Which to be fair is great that she realizes it, but the issue is now we barely talk anymore because it’s honestly hard for both of us. So now I feel like all 3 have been lost instead of having just the 1, friendship.
Good luck man… I’ve been through a couple of these variants but with my (current) SO of quite some time I feel like I’ve found the center. That doesn’t mean it’s never complicated, but it means we’ve learned to deal with and work through a lot of complicated stuff. I honestly believe the most important ingredient in getting to that center is the will to see the best in each other and work through whatever life throws your way.
Thanks. If anything, this friendship/relationship has taught me why people with similar trauma and personalities can be great for emotional intimacy (we get it) but also absolutely toxic when our trauma forged defenses and coping mechanisms rise up. She’s given me a lot of insight into “oh, so that’s what it’s like to deal with me when I act like that”. Love her to death but we’re not the match.
😭