Smuuthbrane

Is this one if the rules of the pirate code?

No no no.

“ARRRR, WE BE TAKIN’ YER CARGO, AND PERHAPS YOUR LIVES AS WELL, PLEASE AND THANK YOU!!”

“Dude, click the fob again.” “I TRIED that, it didn’t work!” “But we might be closer now, try it again!” “OK FINE… SEE? NOTHING?” “Is that the right fob?” “…” “What? It isn’t, is it?” “I low-key hate you right now.”

“I came inside a hornet ball…” 🎶🎵

Why do those look so damned aquatic?? Like, I joke about my wife being cold blooded, but for this person I’d believe it.

God’s inflator is just too small, but he’s trying, OK??

AVAST, YE SCURVY DOGS, WHO’S READY FOR A CUDDLE??

But you can see it unaided, that’s something, right?

These British tattoo artists are out of control.

My mom doesn’t like box so we never had it growing up, I have no idea how to prepare or serve it correctly. ☹️

He’s not even planking correctly. SMDH

Having to scrape (or luck) the last 5 mL out of a paperboard box.

Admittedly, it’s a first world problem.

You’re not wrong at all. My favourite Japanese word is “gu-rey-pu-fu-root-su” for grapefruit. Like, bro, copy off me but don’t make it look like you’re copying. 😂

Wow, you’re restrained. I had absolutely lost my shit by 30 seconds. I’m still laughing if I even think about it. My eyes hurt.

Arrr, I be smuuthbrane the pirate. Now ye know me, I be no longer a stranger, we can all be friends! Ya-harrrr!!

It’s not ideal because it’s not in me yet.

Ideal? No. But still… garlic sauce.

So it should read “I excuse myself to the washroom on dates just to check my IG feed”.

They both exist, and are used when you need to get away from a date, check your phone, or otherwise get some alone time sitting down.

Gee, I hope his visor doesn’t fog up.