Who cuts a pizza into only four slices?

They do.

From their website:

The Waffle House employees receive health insurance, dental insurance, vision insurance, and life insurance.

Even if they did, humans are way too big for them to bother with. They are lazy as fuck. Food practically has to fall into their mouths.

Alligators generally aren’t all that dangerous. They are not aggressive at all, especially not toward humans. But they fucking will be if they know you have food and then you’re fucked.

“no, you.” The most irrefutable of comebacks.

I swear these people have to be trolls. No one can be this stupid.