You’re absolutely correct. They want their app on your devices and they want you permanently signed into whatever bullshit service they’re promoting.

One year later: I’m changing the conditions of my promise.

Works with babies too.

Send it to me. I’ll keep it safe. I promise not to share it.

They’ve probably already ID’d them. Now they just need Reddit to “volunteer” the info that DickSwanger420 is actually Marvin Peterson from Boise.

Wtf are the two hats in the middle?

I think there was that brief period of interest when Trump turned the White House driveway into a car dealership ad for Elon. But yeah, you’re right. They’re all gas-fueled motorheads.

The portion of my family that voted for it.

It’s normal with independently-owned fuel stations. Not so much with corporate chains.

Clone the hard drive and see what happens!

Just placed them in a bowl? Or broke them open and poured all the liquid into the bowl?

You probably shouldn’t consume them now either.

The racist, hillbilly morons who voted for this are not “jet-setters.” They’ve probably never even been on a jet.

Wtf is a White House app good for? Streamlining his mental diahrea into your hands?

Do it in the style of Choose Your Own Adventure.

Exactly. Full-time college itineraries are based roughly on a full-time 40-hour work week. Each credit represents three hours of study time. One in-class and two out of class. A fifteen-credit itinerary should eat up 45 hours of time. Fifteen in class, 30 of independent study.

Mostly hookers. But then it caught on with ice cream truck drivers and souvenir salespeople.

I was always partial to those belt-worn change dispensers.

Michael Scott really said that?

Until they finally taste human flesh.