I was at a BBQ place the other day and the most expensive thing on their menu was pork ribs + two sides for $23. Waiter was all excited “On Wednesdays we have beef ribs, you have to try it!” Tried it and was pretty good. Get the bill and it was $70 not including the sides, total was $95 before tip. At no point was the price disclosed to me before ordering.

Maybe if I had Kratos’ grit I would have just walked out.

I’ve heard people say Taco Bell is so greasy it gives them the shits, but I just don’t think that’s objectively true. You open up the classic bean burrito or taco and if anything it’s too dry, you need the sauce just to level it out. I’ve never actually known someone to have bathroom issues after taco bell. Real life experience just doesn’t agree with the joke.

I heard someone posit that people who say that are reacting to beans because they don’t normally get much fiber and their body can’t handle the sudden influx.

That said, taco bell isn’t good for the most part.

You get me.

I have a long sleeve shirt that says “Sun’s out, guns out”. A couple of weeks back I saw my 8 yo niece silently sounding it out across the table followed by a withering look of “What does that mean? That’s stupid.” Didn’t want to interrupt her mom to explain myself and just took the hit to my uncle cred.

Parent: Don’t have kids. They are awful and will ruin your life.

Only child: 👀

Wow, that was really the perfect scene to channel this energy.

Sometimes I like to think that the reason a god isn’t around to help fix things is that they are constantly seeding new civilizations around the universe, and ours just didn’t work out.

The worse version of this is when accepting the box for “Update now?” just opens their homepage in a browser and you have to manually locate and download the installer.

This gets the program on my blacklist.

Tried cold brew concentrate once. Thought it was normal concentration tea, and my coffee hating self was in for a hefty swig of regret.

It’s so dangerous when the passenger tries to pressure the driver to go. If they thought it was safe they would have gone. If they decide to listen to the passenger instead of their own judgement, they are way more likely to get into an accident. Even if the advice itself is good they might take too long to process it or misunderstand. Like “Take a right, now!” then they drive up onto the curb ten feet before the turn.

Also, if the driver is making mistakes out of nervousness, yelling at them makes it worse every time. My passenger yells anything they can walk the rest of the way.

I’m often surprised when I hear how other people live. Conversation at work will go like:

Employee A: “Youtube ads are getting ridiculous.”

Me: “You still see Youtube ads?”

Employee B: “Yeah, just get Youtube Premium. Such a smart investment.”

Me: “Wait, what?!”

Several of my millennial friends have cable TV and Tivo or something just because they are creatures of habit and are too tired from raising kids to consider changing their process. Weirdly, my boomer parents are the most tech savvy media consumers I know. They just have terrible taste.