Condoms are cool, all the ladies love a man who uses condoms.

It sounds like fun but having gone through it for a couple of years, it’s not. There’s times of abstinence and times when it’s all about impregnation, not spontaneity or fun. She’s constantly watching her cycle, and every period is extra depressing. And that’s not counting any infertility treatments like hormones fucking with emotions. Our now-adult offspring are amazing and I’m glad we did it, but it wasn’t just “fuck a lot.”

Look into freezing sperm now while you’re young and it’s squirmy and spermy and healthy. Then you can get the snip (or the no-snip method) and when you do want kids you won’t be ruining your sex life with scheduled sessions. She can get inseminated when the ultrasound shows an ovum is waiting and it’ll have a better chance of conception. Go in with her if you can and she’s comfortable with that. Just as you will for the birth.

If you do it when you’re young you get the most years of benefits, and if you’re a couple you’ll be saving the cost of pills or IUDs or condoms or whatever over the years. To say nothing about the costs of pregnancy or even just the possible-pregnancy scares and tests.

The woman should be ABLE and ALLOWED to protect herself against pregnancy, yes, but the responsibility isn’t all hers. Every unwanted pregnancy starts with sperm. Her ovum was just sitting there, innocently drifting down the fallopian tube, staying inside her body.

Any man who doesn’t accept his full responsibility for preventing pregnancy, or for the consequences of a pregnancy occurring, is a shit.

Female-centered methods that are invasive like IUDs or rely on hormones like the Pill have common side effects like intense pain, personality changes, increased stroke and heart attack risk. The only reason women tolerate them is because the consequences of pregnancy are higher for them. The side effects of vasectomy are temporary pain and bruising, and sperm granuloma. Sperm quality diminishes quite slowly and sperm can be frozen beforehand, so it’s still possible to father a wanted child.

You could get a vasectomy…

Oh I love that idea!

It’s usually dulce de leche (caramel) but sometimes coconut milk. There’s a bakery in my area that does Cinco de Leche as a special for Cinco de Mayo. They also do a Mango tres leches. Yes, I’m going to go check them out this weekend…

Fiege, Waldron, are you listening? You need this scene.

Although to be fair the Waffle House staff would more likely be on the same side as the Avengers. Save their asses with a chair to Thanos’ head or something.

What about poverty-stricken big tiddy goth birbs? According to the tiny words, they’re safe.