Hopefully your military would at least have the decency to let him finish.

I think they just soak it in vinegar.

I feel like I’ve probably downloaded a torrent off this very machine.

I’ll never understand why people buy those talking push button things for their pets. One of their greatest advantages over humans is that they don’t talk imo.

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Open format headphones are for real life. I’ll never go back.

I thought it was five seconds. Five minutes maybe for the last roll if you’ve had two or three already. I can’t stand it when everyone is so damn polite not wanting to take the last one of a shared food item to the point of allowing it to go to waste. Give it a fair pause but then take that last roll or cookie or whatever if you want it.