Phantaloons

cake sale at Costco

lol, told you he’d go to coomer first. You owe me $60

Good idea, Reddit.

opens redreader

the cost of doing business

My bank hands out these weird little plastic cards like it’s 2016 or something.

Trump: “So the oil is under the lithium? How does this work?”

I am weird therefore I am.

One less taken parking spot at Longhorn.

That’s my secret, Cap, I’m always outdated.

-Lineage User

–force

I’m antipedo, so we’re good.

"FOR THE LAST TIME, I am NOT a-

We’re not only animals, we’re not even the smartest ones.

Our biggest mistake is thinking the rules of nature apply to all but us. Hubris killed the human.

This round, anyway.

phone rings

Normal person: “Who?”

Me: “Why?”

…exactly?

You wouldn’t want to mess up your best at a Wendy’s.

Why aren’t ours?

Ironically, the first place I heard about gays was church, tho?

Streisand the Streisand.

Avoid teh gays

“teh whats?!”

Yeah, we’re all crying, no one’s laughing.

If an American version existed:

“Nabisco Bite-sized Wellingtons!”

basically combos flavored like steak

Hm, Carrot-top is named after his hair being orange yet the top of a carrot is green, curious.