My wife is always shocked to learn that despite communicating with him somewhat regularly, I have absolutely no details regarding any of my brother’s upcoming plans or life events. Yes, I know he’s engaged. I think I was one of the first to hear about it… No, I don’t know when he plans to get married, or where… I don’t know if he’s going to South America again this year. I don’t know any of this. It didn’t come up. He will probably tell me if/when he does. I’m not really worried about it.

What do we talk about? Memes, mostly… Most recently I’ve been sending him these fake Rastafarian AI doctor videos on Instagram with hilarious visual demonstrations of poop flying out of butts like a whirlwind while a passionate man talks about selling you his herbal cleanse. Now I’ve discovered the female version that is all about vaginal disbiosis and what to do “when ya poosee smell like a rotten fish mahhket” (you buy her secret Rasta herbal cleanse, that’s what you do…)

But no, I don’t know if he’s coming for Christmas.